A question I’m asked all the time…
Where do you go out to eat?
The short answer is, I rarely go out to EAT. It’s just exhausting and not fun at all.
Instead, I meet my friends or family for drinks while they eat, and I eat my own meals before I leave the house. I like the socialization more than the food part anyway. The food fear is sometimes too overwhelming and life is too short for me to have constant anxiety at restaurants when there is a workaround option.
Also, I’m a planner. I do not accept food related plans on a whim and if a food plan is in place for socialization, then my food plan is in place too. See, it’s not just gluten I have to worry about. It’s almonds, and pork, and beef, and eggs, and poultry, and fish, and shellfish, and beets, and corn, and parsley, and mushrooms…..shall I go on?
I watch Facebook groups and Reddit threads about gluten free people eating at (what feels like) EVERY restaurant that I would deem totally unsafe. And frankly, I’m baffled. “The restaurant takes every precaution.” Sure. But even if they do, I can tell you from experience that flour flies everywhere.
When I had the bakery, the dining room (where no food was prepared) would be covered in flour, and it was constant dusting. As a home bakery, all of my kitchen shelves near my mixer are covered in flour. Tiny particles that float around in the air and settle, day after day, until a layer is built up.
So, you ate the GF pizza at a regular pizza place because they “take every precaution?” Ok. You do you, but that isn’t safe at all to me. The flour is on their aprons, in their hair (or hairnet), on the floor, counters, utensils, water glasses….everywhere. And you can’t always see it.
And YES, there are plenty of GF bloggers who don’t eat ONLY at dedicated restaurants, because there just are not that many dedicated places around. In fact, I eat at non-dedicated places myself. I have several rules I follow, even on vacation, for eating out.
NEVER eat the pizza, no matter how good it looks. Last time I was in NYC, May 2017, I googled best GF pizza and found several places highly ranked on the Find Me Gluten Free app. One place was within walking distance of my hotel. I was so excited. Honestly, I still remember it as the best pizza of my life and the worst two weeks of a “glutening” I’ve ever had. I wish I could remember what the place was even called, to tell you, but my glutened brain forgot when I became a total dingdong for two weeks. I started feeling sick on the walk home from the restaurant. I had called the restaurant and talked to the manager. I asked every question I could ask BEFORE I went. I ordered what they told me to order. I was in my hotel room for the last two days of my trip, just dying and laying on a heating pad. My stomach and colon felt like I had eaten glass shards. I took Zofran, but it was no match. I spent my plane ride home counting the minutes until I landed while holding a barf bag. Trip ruined. I called the restaurant when I got back and the person I talked to said they didn’t even have GF pizza anymore and that menu was an older version. So, I ate a regular pizza that the waiter had assured me was GF. I broke my number one rule, which was number one for a reason. I haven’t broken it since.
Never eat GF items from a non GF bakery. Like I said, they can clean all day but that flour is EVERYWHERE. They can make stuff first thing in the morning, but that flour is EVERYWHERE. They can have a small, dedicated mixer and workstation just for GF, but that flour is EVERYWHERE. You may break this rule, but I have never broken it after owning a bakery.
When in doubt (this place looks sketchy for food allergies or I just don’t need this anxiety right now), eat at home or in your hotel room before you head out for drinks with others who are getting meals. I pack a jar of peanut butter and several packages of crackers in my suitcases when I’m traveling. If I’m at home, I eat something filling so that I’m not tempted when I get to a restaurant.
If you are starving and have almost no options at the restaurants, stick to the cleanest side items: baked potato, steamed broccoli, etc. Eat 3 baked potatoes if you’re starving and that’s the only option. Who cares? You do you.
And I’m NEVER going to tell you how to run your life. Do you still eat things you miss, sometimes? Do you cheat on your birthday only? I have seen your future in some elderly family members that refuse to follow their doctors’ orders and eat strictly gluten free. They are miserable, they have constant diarrhea, GERD, joint pain, stomach aches, and teeth problems. Even worse, they are slowly dying. It’s like smoking or drinking alcohol in excess…you won’t die immediately, it’s a slow, painful death full of regular doctor visits that cure nothing.
So, I’ll tell you what I used to tell my students with special needs: You have been dealt a terrible hand in life and nothing is fair. You will have to always work harder than everyone else. You can choose to do that or you can make the choice to give up. But I know you can do it. I know you can find other people like you, who also understand what you’re going through. And I hope you can block the noise from others who try and make you feel less than what you are. Because the best part about this world is that there is no one like you. And who is better than you? No one.
